21 July 2011

What I've Learned On Bedrest Cont.

  • I really miss my 42" with DVR. A 19" tube with basic cable is getting boring.
  • Sleep is only optional here. Vitals wake me up every hour. The sleeping pill makes me not care but it's still interrupted sleep.
  • Magnesium makes ya pee like a race horse. I'm up every hour to pee. Unfortunately I have to get someone in here every time to unhook me to go
  • Some of the nursing staff is becoming family. Sitting and shooting the shit can lift the spirits far.
  • Straws are your friend. Having a stash in the room helps absent minded serving.
  • I've gotta pee. Again
  • My hair has a permanent bed head mark
  • Never go more than 24 hours without at least a wash cloth hitting your skin. Let your loved ones know
  • Celebrate small goals along the way. It breaks up the time.
  • Sometimes you have to tell people to leave you alone and don't feel bad about it.
  • The only food this hospital can make is grilled cheese. I may try to see if they could make me some tater tots. There's no fries or tots or fried chips here. Damn healthy shit
  • It's hard to type on a computer in this shape. I'm engineering in my mind a rig for bedridden ladies to use their computer more comfortably
  • Immediately procure an electric razor. My legs look like the amazon after a week but nobody will come near me with a razor
  • It is bright to be in a hospital during the biggest heatwave of the year
  • Nap when you can
  • My uterus is getting bitchy so I better wrap this up and get on my side
  • I have mooned every one on staff here and don't give a shit
  • Don't try and surf the web after taking the sleeping pill. Ya can't read shit really quick
  • Maybe I'll add more after my nap

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hospital Food really does suck! So I am hoping you get some real food in you soon.

And as far as mooning the hospital staff? It's when you pass gas while you are doing it that they know you are serious!

Alfro said...

No Tots.....
Thats a crime. My daughter was in the hospital for 10 days, and the best thing about the hospital was the Tots. Sorry to hear the food natzi's have you hostage. Hopefully someone can smuggle something in to you.

Think about you daily. passing along good thoughts. Take Care....

Evil Twin's Wife said...

It's amazing how quickly modesty goes right out the window when you're in the hospital. I would have both boobs hanging out, nursing my daughter, when the food trays came around (and those people aren't nurses, but I no longer cared - I was hungry, dangit!). And our hospital had GOOD food! :-)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, hospital food can be hit or miss. Mostly miss I hear. During my only hospital stay I was held off of food because of pending surgery that never happened till the next freakin day!! My doc took pity on be and brought me some grub around 10pm. It had been 28 hours since I'd eaten. His shoe would have tasted like filet mignon at that point.

Glad to see you're hanging in there. Bummer abut the TV sitch. Can you Hulu on your pc?