Vacation Blues

I don't want to go back yet I have guilt being away from work. This is sad. Nobody should ever feel guilty for putting their job aside for a few days. My phone still blew up through the vacation and I responded to those who I felt like responding to. I wish I could have time away where I wouldn't feel the need to do that or even feel the need to have my work phone along. The only bright part is I'm going to dock the time that I had scheduled as vacation time and submit the hours. They know they need to learn how to get along without me devoted to it every damn hour of the day but still they can't let me go.

When I wasn't fiddling with work shit, vacation was fun and much needed. I spent time with my girls. Another one was pregnant so I wasn't sober alone. The other 2 drank enough for all of us and the babies. It was amusing. I'm tired as hell. I took a couple hour nap before I even unpacked the car.

At my first baby appointment they did a depression screening. I failed it. Since I haven't been able to completely kick my antidepressant from the last time I needed treatment, we figured it'd be a good idea to go back on it full time. I was excited to feel happy and content again. I started feeling better and then I remembered one of the side effects of treatment. I have completely lost my sex drive. I have no desire. It's hard to get the motor running. I hate this.

I should just go to bed and try again tomorrow.