I'm excited to do so but almost more terrified of failure. The month after month of disappointment has taken its toll. It gets worse and worse each round. The feeling of failure. The despair that gets deeper and deeper. The hopelessness that sets in.
I've had new signs this week that I've never had before. I'm not sure if the nausea is just nerves and the utter hope for success or the real deal. My sense of smell went batshit crazy. The bathroom smelled horrible tonight. I cleaned it and then a new smell of death filled my nose. The smell of the wood burner outside almost made me lose my cookies. Tiredness has also been on the menu. I've slept a lot this week. Hell. I'm going to bed after this post I think.
Please please pray that I can post a picture of two pink lines tomorrow. Or you may hear me scream with excitement in the early hours for a heads up.