09 September 2010

Withdrawal Help

For those of you who have followed me for awhile, you may remember the time that I cracked so hard that I needed to get on antidepressants. It was a bitch that found one that worked. Since that time I've had major life changes and I don't feel I need a daily pill to keep me from losing my freakin mind. In the past I've just stopped taking the pills and I was good to go. Not this time.

Withdrawals are something that are evil and horrible. I hope I'm not one of the only bloggy friends that has been on happy pills and hoping maybe someone can help me out here. I started off with taking a pill every other day and then eventually just forgetting until withdrawals kicked in. I know this is crazy and goes against pharmacology half lifes and shit but I'm up to 5-7 days between pills. I just want to kick this shit! I don't want it anymore! I don't want the eventual hitchhiker to go through withdrawals when they are born or chance a defect due to it(though I've been told it is safe)!

I'm sure some are thinking that it can't be that bad and to just suck it up but let me tell you what happens. I have zingers that go through my head when I move my eyes. They don't hurt. I compare it to if your foot is asleep and you flick it, that kind of feel in my head. I feel foggy headed. Right now, my lips are almost completely numb. Today was also a really bad day for mood. I went from super happy to super mad at the drop of a dime. Add in to super sad and just super not me. After the mood swings I had today, I don't think I could do my job on a daily basis with them. It's scary to feel that the only way I stay productive is through these damn pills!

Speaking of which, I have to find a new doctor. My current primary care cracked and got out of family practice. I hate picking out a new doctor. Here's how my track record has gone since I've been an adult picking my own doctor. The first guy put me on so damn many drugs that I ended up in the ER with seratonin syndrome. Look it up. It was scary shit. He then changed to neuro specialty some shit story. The second guy was all about natural medicine and home remedies for every damn thing. He also reduced his practice hours to 3 afternoons a week. That didn't work. Then I went to the most current and he wasn't too bad other than being farther away and now he's not in family practice. I'm lucky enough, though, that the insurance plans have changed and I'm now allowed to see providers at 2 out of the 3 major systems in the area as opposed to 1. The system that we gained was the one I used to work for so I have a little better grasp on the who's who there.

Man. These numb lips make me want to do something stupid like pierce them. I better go to bed before I wake up to something stupid.......


Matt-Man said...

Man...wish I could help, but I'm usually pretty happy naturally. I guess I'll just wish ya luck and hope you can find a physician who can help you in toto. Cheers AC!!

Emmy said...

Keep trying to find a good doc.

My husband has his happy pills that he's been on for quite a while. His doc suggested last year that he try to get off of them to see what would happen. He explained to her how things would go if he missed 5 days of pills (due to prescription lapse usually) - withdrawal, very scattered behavior. She scolded him. I guess that you have to step off the meds to let you body get chemically rebalanced. I guess the way he did it created a situation where his body chemistry went to an extreme. No fun.