Fore!

I've got a tee time in t minus 2 hours. This will be the first time I get to touch my clubs this year. Sad huh? Historically this outing has been known to create urination in nature and then to find a portapotty at the next hole. There is also copious amounts of beer consumed while driving a motorized vehicle. One year a turkey was sacrificed on the way home. A tree was hit with a brand new club. A ball was hit and it went behind the tee box. Many balls have been sacrificed to the water gods and golfing gods period. There may have also been narrow escape from getting a ball to the head too.

This year shall prove to be just as much fun as long as one thing doesn't happen. My mother thinks she coming to this. She does not do anything physical. She can't hold down a job because she's too "sick" to do so. The weather has to be air conditioned otherwise it's too hot and humid and gives her breathing troubles. Or she has to be near a bathroom. Or her back hurts too much. Or she's overdone it and her back hurts her for the next week and don't forget the complaining involved with that. Also, she doesn't/can't drink so we get the 5th degree from her whenever a beer gets cracked. I considered saying screw it and skip golfing but I can't do that to dad. After I gave her a flat out no about her meeting us there for golf and changed the subject, she won't bring it up. She keeps bringing it up to dad so I told him he was in charge of telling her why. Well, a nice why. I hope he uses the father/daughter defense. We don't get to do much father/daughter bonding time and this is one of our few chances. If I pop out a kid in the next year this whole dynamic is going to change again so this may be the last time we'll have this. Mom always has time for bonding since she calls everyday and we do shopping when the weather is conducive for her "ailments". I guess I'll know in a little bit when I call to get final marching orders on what to bring for dinner.

Good thing I'm on vacation next week. I'm going to need it after dealing with all this family shit.