10 June 2010


I'm sitting here in a utopia of a chocolate malt root beer float with Two and A Half Men on my tv and a belly full of king crab. Hubby just went to bed before work. I'm almost ready for bed myself. I just have some random shit floating in the ol noodle.

First of all is health insurance. I've had a pretty sweet plan for the past few years. That is all coming to a crashing end. I went from copays for doctor/ER visits with 100% coverage for everything else to now having a deductible the size of my credit limit and then have it hit 100% after that. I still have hubby's insurance as a secondary now and somehow gotta figure out how that shit works. Here's to insurance companies jacking up rates and to cost savings by the employer!

I'll be the first to admit, I have a crab addiction lately. At least once a week I've been cracking into those delicious devils. I must have a deficiency of something. I'm a firm believer that cravings happen because the body is lacking something. I'm not real sure what crab supplies but damn, I can't kick this!

I listened to a clip of our fearless president talking about the oil leakers. He actually used the line of "who's ass to kick." I'm happy there is a guy who says it like it is. On the other hand, I swear our country is turning into the society in "Idocracy." I highly recommend that flick. Once you get past some of the cheesiness, it is scary how our society is slipping into this kind of mindset.

Nothing real new on the baby front. I'm in that waiting time of too early to pee on a stick but going bat shit crazy waiting. My gut feeling is is that this month is another failure. I have no signs of the hitchhiker and my hopes are being deflated. I finally had it out with my mother and clued her in. She basically had figured out we were trying but I wouldn't confirm or deny. Once that she started talking if nothing happens by winter to then maybe try some drugs. I'd had it. I laid it on the line how this is my 5th round of treatment and my time clock is running out. She made me feel oh so much better by telling me that all the women on both sides of the family just had to stand in a room with a guy with their pants off and that's all they needed to get pregnant. Thanks for making me feel like the family freak, Mom. My friend who is going through the whole clomid thing too got told that it isn't going to happen like this and it's time to go to the next step of intrauterine.......IUI....or turkey baster of washed swimmers shot up the cooter hole. It's not a pricey as IVF but it's still a chunk of change. I'll be staring down this road after a month. I should put up a donation button on here when that day comes. Between the effing insurance and the price of that, I'm fucking broke.

I've got a upcoming party a week from Saturday. Hubby's birthday. He wants a big party. I hate throwing parties. I hate having people invade my shithole and silently judge me. I'm not the most meticulous housekeeper. I have no desire or time to be a neat freak. This is going to be a weekend spent cleaning my ass off.

I think that is all for now. I'm pretty drowsy and I'm going to hit the hay.....


Brian said...

OMG, you're alive!!

I think sometimes with the pregnancy thing, the harder you try the more difficult it becomes.

The hubz swimmers been checked out? They good to go? Maybe they need a little targeting info - like a missile.

I hear you on the party. Lots of anxiety for a few hours of partying. Just do what makes you comfortable, relax and have a good time. You might want to hope that the hitch hiker hasn't grabbed on just yet so you can have a few cocktails at the party!

Emmy said...

As I discovered with my second child, stress is a killer. Once it went away, I got pregnant.

And agree with you on the party. Ugh.