You may not want to stay married, you choose to stay married.
Times get rough and you may want to see your spouse anywhere but in your house and in your life yet you choose to let them stay. One day you are head over heals in love with your spouse and then the next day you just want to take that pillow and smother them. Yet all of us who are still married choose to stick with it.
I've been through this. There are days were I just want to pack my shit and start all over. I imagine what it would be like to move out and start over. The freedom of starting a new life. Where would I want to live? Would I want to go back to school? What would it be like to clean up after just me? Then there are days where I can't imagine another guy in my house. He does a lot of little things and big things that most women don't get to have.
I should really have a sign made up of that. It really is true in my book.
As for an update on life, I was on the road again this last week. It was cut short due to a lack of need for me to stay there. I then ran like a freakin mad woman to get to the airport and get my happy ass home. I got to have a night out with hubby and hubby #2 since they were off of work. I got a bit tipsy and it made for a shitty night of trying to sleep.
I'm back on call again this weekend. I've had exactly 2 days since the middle of the last week of December that I wasn't either on the road or on call. To say I'm burnt out is an understatement. I've cracked a bit. I can't take it much more.
Baby front is cruising along. I start taking the clomid on Monday. Let the scheduled sex begin! Speaking of which, I got a 50% off coupon to use at Adam & Eve in the mail. I better start shopping!