Next Step

So it is officially over.  The pregnancy is completely done.  I just went to my 6 week follow up exam and got the blessing of I'm completely back to normal.  I'm very sad.  I'm still supposed to be running around feeling like a house and cleaning the house and having a baby shower.  Instead I've given birth, completely healed, and still won't be able to be a real mommy for another few months.  I'm going back to work without having had the break to bond with my son.  Yes I've bonded but it's always with strangers around.  It's for his own good but it's still not like if you were alone and bonding. 

My boobs still hurt.  Attaching a pump several times a day is just wrong and unnatural.  It has to be done though to give him the best food.  Someday maybe he'll be able to nurse.  Right now the food just magically fills his tummy and he's a happy boy then.  I just wonder if this pumping ever gets better. 

Child care plans have been decided too.  Boy will be quarantined for the whole winter due to his lung issues.  No daycare, no home daycare, no place where a child is. Looking at the financial reasons, I'm not the choice to stay home.  Hubby is going to be quitting his job and staying home to raise our child while I work. I'm sad about this too.  It would be nice to stay home and raise him.  Right now I'm the only one that goes to see him and spend time with him every day.  I have not missed a day yet seeing him and don't plan on changing that.  Hubby, however, is lucky to make it every other day.  That would kill me. 

Dammit.  Ovary is hurting again.  Time to go punch them.