01 August 2011

My Own Prison

Day 18

I understand now hospital bedrest being compared to prison. This room is just missing bars and the stainless toilet rig. A prisoner has an advantage over me. They can move about their cell. I am stuck in this bed. No chair privileges. I do have my 1 wheelchair ride a day to the outside. I have to have a nurse escort the whole time due to the drugs.  It's just getting tough and anybody who is telling me more than 2 more weeks in this state has been getting yelled at. There's no way I can do 10 more weeks like this. I'm pretty sure realistically baby can't stay that long with no water left.

Hubby seems to be holding up ok. I think I he's starting to treat it as of out of sight, out of mind. He's spending less and less time up here. He has complained how uncomfortable the chair is. I know the TV sucks and home is much better. I'm just getting frustrated because how do I feel being stuck up here and he can just go home. I'm probably over sensitive. He's doing a lot to keep the home up but I'm still a bit selfish.

Tomorrow I have an ultrasound to see how the fluid is doing. I have been leaking more lately. Baby's activity has slowed down today. I'm not worried about it. He's always been harder to feel and his heart is strong. I'm just afraid that what little fluid he had is now gone and we will be looking at delivery now. I just want to make it to 27 weeks. I'm 25wk 3 days today. It'd be ok but not far enough for me.

As for the day on top, that is the number of days I've been in the hospital this time. Add another 17 days for this whole ordeal. It sure has been a long month.


Alfro said...

I wish I could ochestrate a Jailbreak for you.....
But, I'm afraid your really better off there.. Wish I knew of some great advise on how to handle the boredom etc. but I got nothin....

I do kind of feel your pain. when my daughter was in ICU for a week and a half, my wife was there every minute. I had to help bring my wife back off the ledge once we got home.

Take care, and wishing you and Cletus the best.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I wish I could be there to bring you trashy magazines, gum, water and companionship (the few things that got me through 3.5 days after my son was born....I know that seems like *nothing* compared to what you're facing, but I'd still come visit!).

Keep your eye on the prize (precious baby boy) and I know you can do it! {{{Hugs}}}