09 March 2009

Dear Orgasm

I would first love to say I am your biggest fan.  You take away stress and give me something to look forward to.  The guys seem to love it too.  You may be a little shy at times but when you do come to the party, wow.  

You've made me do some stupid shit at times.  I'm pretty sure every set of neighbors I've ever had knows when you show up.  I'm pretty sure half of this country knows when you show up!  There is nothing better when the edge has tipped to point of no return.

Now lets talk a bit about your down falls...

You make a fucking mess.  It's not as big as a guy mess but messy none the less.  I do appreciate the mess at times when it's taken you fucking forever to show up.  Sometimes I just want to get you a fucking watch.

How come when you show up for a guy you knock his ass right to sleep and for me I'm ready to lift the stove with one hand and scrub underneath?  Seriously, usually you visit at night and curling up for a nice little slumber would be nice.  

Once again, THANK YOU for being my friend!

Your bestest friend in the whole world-


Saucy Wildcat said...

I must say mine rock too, so I completely understand. If I may offer advice...I've found that the key to the sleeping is having more than one. The problem with that is finding someone to stay awake long enough to give you more than one. Good luck with that!

The Savage said...