09 November 2008

I'm Home :(

Vacation was a hoot.  It was very drunk out.  I have been drunk by 2 pm since Wednesday.  Sobriety today really sucks.  

Last night we played cards.  We had the mission to drink everything alcoholic that we had before going to bed.  I failed.  I failed miserably.  I passed out about 8:30 pm. This was my set up for a couple of hours while playing cards. 

We started the day with several winery tours.  That just primed the pump for this.  I really do enjoy the wine drunk.  I get room spins real easy.  I didn't spin once with the wine.  

We stayed in a really beautiful place.  It was a 3 bedroom condo per say.  Full kitchen.  2 crappers.  An unused "2 person" jacuzzi tub (barely big enough to fit my left leg was more like it!).  A nice wrap around patio.  It was within drunken stumbling distance to the pool.  Between 5 people the price was super reasonable!!  Things started happening the first night.  I am immediately reminded of Chuckie's Haunted Hotel Post and really didn't think it was truly happening.

The first night one of the girls had their closet door open.  The other girl said her dead brother stopped by to say hi to her and tell her all is ok.  Well, we were drinking and somethings could just be a coincidence.  

Fast forward to Friday night.  I had brought some porn to watch and my bed buddy and I were up late watching porn while everyone else went to bed.  We stumbled out of the room at about 2:30 am and I went outside with her while she had a smoke.  When we came walking back in we hear someone takin a pee.  We figured one of the other girls got up to relieve some recycled beer.  We peeked around the corner down the hallway to the other bathroom and it was completely empty.  We still heard someone peeing.  No flush.  No hand washing.  

There we go!  That's enough of a sign for me that we have ghosts!  They were friendly ghosts but ghosts no the less.....

I also had sausage issues on this trip.  We made brats in the crockpot over night the first night we were there.  Brats cooked in beer all night....mmmmmmmmmmm......I wasn't in the mood to eat a brat first thing in the morning so late morning I decided it was high time to procure one of these brats for annihilation.  In the microwave it went for 30 seconds.  This is what happened.
As I was taking the remnants out of the microwave the damn thing blew up again.  I got hit in the face with brat shrapnel and the plate went flying.  The plate shattered everywhere.  That was my sign that I was not meant to have a brat.  

I'm home now.  I'm about 5 minutes away from the DTs.  It's going to be a rough couple of days here.

On a side note, Hubby started his hunting trip on Friday.  He created some major irritation with this trip now.  He decided to take Thursday night off of work.  I talked to him Thursday night.  He never mentioned it to me until Saturday.  He knew he was taking off Thursday morning.  Just tell me that fucken then!  Asshole.  So I have a week home alone.  Last year I decided to refinish the kitchen cabinets.  This year I've decided to do nothing.  So if any of y'all are in the hood and want to have a night out, let me know!


Jennybean said...

lol at explode-o-sausage!

Sugardaddy said...

I would advise you and the rest of the crew to stay away from open flames for the next few days.

Slick said...

So the drunk fest comes to an abrupt halt?

Don't you just hate that?! ;)

LOL...I HAD to laugh at your woes with the brats....sorry??

pure evyl said...

I hope that you didn't have to clean the microwave.

Average Chick said...

Jenny-- I love it!

Sugar--We had a fireplace in the room....I felt unsafe....

Slick--Abrupt drunk halt sucks ass....and thanks for feeling bad about my brat....;)

Evyl--One of these damn days I need your email.....and yes, my ass had to clean it out....I still need to post the brownie catastrophie yet...now that looked like poop!!